No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
