Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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