Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
