Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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