I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Drunk is a universal language darling
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
