Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
