Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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