Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
