she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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