Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
