i love accidental penises.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
