No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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