Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
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