tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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