Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
