he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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