ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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