It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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