sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
