I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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