i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize
