wat bout pragnant strippers??
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
