Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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