He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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