That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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