Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
