i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
