I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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