I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
