The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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