He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
