If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
