I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
