is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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