I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize