so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
this is an emotional support booty call
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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