3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
wow bdsm is so cute
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