If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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