whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
