I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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