i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Can I color on your dick again?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
