1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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