we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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