Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
