Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
