Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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