Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
