i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
