Life is so much better after having sex.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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