The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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