It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
