once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
