Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
