you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
