3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
