ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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