I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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