I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She's the barista slut.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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