Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I need water and some morals
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
