It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
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